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BDSM Myth #4

safekink:

The submissive has no control in a BDSM scene.

The sub has just as much control over the scene as the Dom. Consent, safety and trust are the most important aspects of BDSM. This is why safewords (and “safe gestures” such as tapping your foot or wiggling your butt) are crucial. If the Dom continues the scene after the sub uses their safe word/gesture, this is abusive. BDSM play is all about the trust that a couple (or moresome) have in each other. The submissive trusts their Dominant with their safety (both physical and mental) and as such, a good Dominant will understand when it is time to stop. It is also the Dominant’s responsibility to provide the sub with any kind of aftercare that might be necessary post-scene, from first aid in the case of a heavy whipping to simple cuddles or gentle words after cruel words are used in-scene.

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