Now Playing Tracks

Cattiness and females

I have a really REALLY big issue with cattiness among women. Mostly because I had to deal with it growing up, and I know how hateful, spiteful, and hurtful females can be towards each other. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes they behave that way because it’s what they were brought up around. Some women… grown assed women, do it out of insecurity, same thing with a lot of young girls, and it really bugs me. Because it’s something I’m sensitive to, I pick up on certain things that other people miss. And I do try to be mindful of that, and treat people the way I’d like to be treated in return. 

It’s not a very nice feeling growing up being picked on. Because of my situation it’s given me a thick skin, but every once in a while someone takes a shot at you, whether they meant to or not, and it stings. I do my best not to read too much into it, most cases I ignore it.. but I don’t ever forget. 

I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood, surrounded by mean girls, and equally assholish boys, and got called several names I won’t even bother repeating here.  As I got older it turned into cattiness because someone didn’t like me because of a boy. The boy bullshit totally blew me. I’m talking I was harassed on several occasions to the point of a chick wanting to fight me, even like…. a whole year or two after I dated the guy. Now what kind of sense does that make? 

It happened a few times after High school as well, and again, I do not understand grown women fighting over any man, I certainly wasn’t interested in living my life Jerry Springer-esque. Again, most times I’d ignore the nonsense, because none of these people were worth my time. 

Fast forward to now, it’s still something I’m sensitive about. I was personally attacked a couple of years ago over a rumor….. A FUCKING RIDICULOUS GODDAMN RUMOR THAT WASN’T ANYWHERE NEAR TRUE, and again.. I won’t repeat the nasty things that were said about me. A few years before that I had some other nasty rumors floating around involving my ex. Because of all this, nothing shocks me anymore. People still remember all the drama laden nonsense and rumors they heard and still give energy to that. It doesn’t shock me anymore, but if I told you the things that were said weren’t hurtful I’d be lying. It’s something that stayed with me. I might have a thicker skin now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings. Which is really annoying because I have a disdain for the overly emotional. 

It’s something I am very aware of, when it’s coming from others, if it comes from myself, because I’m not perfect, I have gotten sucked into the catty bullshit before. It’s a fucking energy drain and it’s a game I don’t like playing. There is a certain way some females joke with each other, being catty, that I do my best to stay away from because simply I don’t like the way it feels, no matter who is on the receiving end, and especially because I’ve been on the receiving end. 

Not everyone has a thick skin like myself. Think of all the women, young girls, teen girls, who have literally been broken down because of bullying, cattiness and hateful shit being said about them. No, attacks like that don’t deserve a response, but what I’ve noticed is that people will take shots at you if they think they can get to you. And there are a lot of people out there that are vulnerable and have been ridiculed, bullied and insulted. So where do you gauge what’s joking around and being playful, and when your little joke turns hurtful? 

Imagine having a complex about how you look and then having some fuck face call you fat or ugly, or tell you you’re not light or dark enough, or god only knows wtf else. In my case it started with my mother, but it didn’t end there. And my mother was and still is, a beast and a selfish cunt who was horrible to me. There’s no love lost, there.

It’s the reason I tell my daughter she’s beautiful every day; it’s the reason I tell her I love her every day; it’s the reason I think a fucking kind word or a compliment from one woman to another makes a world of difference. Fuck what men think, I don’t live my goddamn life to please any man, and any man worth having wouldn’t expect me to look, dress, or act a certain way just to please him, because if a man wants you in his life he will love and cherish you for what you are. But this post isn’t about men, it’s about how women treat each other, especially women of color, and I’m sick of it. 

You don’t have to make fun of or tear someone else down just so you can feel better about yourself. You know all those posts about the unrealistic expectations put on women, as to how they should look? Take a look at tumblr on any given day and you’ll see why it’s an issue. Yes I think women of all shapes and sizes are beautiful; yes I think round asses and big boobs are fantastic, but everybody doesn’t have to look like the chick you see scrolling past your dash, everybody doesn’t have to be a size whatthefuckever, and again really… this post isn’t about that either. Whatever I’m striving for physically is my own personal goal, not anyone else’s. If you’re insecure about how you look, if you’re self conscious about your appearance, making fun of someone else or being shady to another female isn’t going to make you a better person. It might make you feel good for all of two seconds, but ultimately it makes you a jerk, and over time all that toxic hate your carrying around will make you a hell of a lot less attractive as a whole.

I have my issues, I have my flaws, I don’t need to pick apart someone else to feel better about myself, because for the most part on any given day I’m cool with being myself, but I’m really sick and tired of having it done to me, and constantly ignoring it and not saying anything when it happens. I’m really sorry if I’m not your favorite. I’m sorry if I’m not your cup of tea, but I don’t fucking have to be, because there’s this great thing on this planet called variety and you can like whoever or whatever the fuck you want. I’m tired of wondering if I’m just being overly sensitive to what people say, or if maybe something is fucking wrong with them and they need to check their own fucking mouths, or maybe something is wrong with me and I need to just fucking bounce, but I’m done trying to figure it out. What does the lady on arrested development say? “I won’t hear it and I won’t respond to it.” And it’s one of the main reasons I don’t have a lot of female friends. If I catch you being catty towards me for no good goddamn reason I will cut you loose without hesitation. 

So this is my message to women: Stop being fucking cunts to each other. 

And I am fucking done talking about this shit. Fuck off.

stophatingyourbody:

I MAY NOT HAVE HAIR OR MANY FRIENDS, BUT I HAVE HOPE AND A STRENGTH WITHIN ME THAT I KNOW WE ALL HAVE! <3

Stay Strong - Tough Times Don’t Last, Tough People Do! x  

Hi I’m Hannah, I’m 18 and when I was 16 I lost ALL of my hair in just 10 days! It was a massive shock and with other issues as well, I let things get me down! (Weight Loss, Self-harm, Suicide attempts, etc,) until I realised that NO ONE but me can control my life, and although I can’t control my hair-loss or seizures etc, I can change my attitude towards life and also help change things for others struggling by helping/inspiring them! I make youtube videos helping with all sorts and always love to get video requests!

I AM ALWAYS HERE TO HELP AND CHAT JUST CONTACT ME! :)

Youtube: bouncybunny100

Twitter: @XLovatoLover1X

Tumblr: xlovatolover1x

stophatingyourbody:


I have had insecurities about myself since I can remember. I am now 27 years old, female, married and planning a family. This is the (very long, sorry) list of my insecurities…I have always kept all of this to myself, because I was ashamed. So this is my first step to overcoming and starting to love myself! I hope.
- When I was little I was called a tomboy. Starting at age 10 I was bullied daily for not being girly enough, not wearing make-up, a bra, dresses or skirts. I was bullied for not talking lady-like. I pretended, that it didn’t bother me and that I didn’t care – but I did. It hurt. And I wished I could be a boy, so that everything about me would appear to everyone else as ‘normal’.
- My legs are hairy. So are my arms. I am blonde, so it is less visible, than dark body hair, but I was bullied for it nonetheless. I started shaving my legs, when I was 12. I have done it ever since, even though I personally do not find my body hair ugly.
- I have blonde hair and black eyebrows. I have been bullied for dyeing my eyebrows, which I never did. I have been bullied for having very thick ‘non girly’ eyebrows. I have been plucking my eyebrows since I was 14 and am doing it since, even though I wish I could just let them grow out and wear them natural.
- I have to wear glasses.
- I starting cutting myself when I was 14.
- I am now VERY insecure about my weight. I have moved countries to live with my husband 3 years ago and have since gone through a very tough time. Still am. Friends and family left behind, nobody here I know. I have gained weight and started feeling conscious about the way my body looks.
- I have been sent to mental health facilities since I was 16, by my parents. Everyone wanted to find out, what was wrong with me, so that I could be fixed. I have been diagnosed with Autism, Social Anxiety Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and the like…The only diagnosis I agree with is, that I AM autistic. But that is nothing, that needs fixing, right?
Summing this up: Due to everything, that has happened to me in my life, I am very insecure about pretty much EVERYTHING about me. My weight, my face, my clothes, my behavior, the way I act socially…everything really. This is my first step in opening up, stopping to be ashamed and starting to accept, respect and love the person I am.
I have shaved my head, to free myself from all the stereotypes, all the baggage I was carrying, to say fuck you to all the expectations and masks that I used to wear. I am now bare. Naked. I have nothing to hide behind anymore. I am me. And the day will come, when I love myself.
Thank you for reading.
BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION!
Zoom Info
Camera
SONY DSC-WX9
ISO
160
Aperture
f/2.6
Exposure
1/30th
Focal Length
4mm

stophatingyourbody:

I have had insecurities about myself since I can remember. I am now 27 years old, female, married and planning a family. This is the (very long, sorry) list of my insecurities…I have always kept all of this to myself, because I was ashamed. So this is my first step to overcoming and starting to love myself! I hope.

- When I was little I was called a tomboy. Starting at age 10 I was bullied daily for not being girly enough, not wearing make-up, a bra, dresses or skirts. I was bullied for not talking lady-like. I pretended, that it didn’t bother me and that I didn’t care – but I did. It hurt. And I wished I could be a boy, so that everything about me would appear to everyone else as ‘normal’.

- My legs are hairy. So are my arms. I am blonde, so it is less visible, than dark body hair, but I was bullied for it nonetheless. I started shaving my legs, when I was 12. I have done it ever since, even though I personally do not find my body hair ugly.

- I have blonde hair and black eyebrows. I have been bullied for dyeing my eyebrows, which I never did. I have been bullied for having very thick ‘non girly’ eyebrows. I have been plucking my eyebrows since I was 14 and am doing it since, even though I wish I could just let them grow out and wear them natural.

- I have to wear glasses.

- I starting cutting myself when I was 14.

- I am now VERY insecure about my weight. I have moved countries to live with my husband 3 years ago and have since gone through a very tough time. Still am. Friends and family left behind, nobody here I know. I have gained weight and started feeling conscious about the way my body looks.

- I have been sent to mental health facilities since I was 16, by my parents. Everyone wanted to find out, what was wrong with me, so that I could be fixed. I have been diagnosed with Autism, Social Anxiety Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and the like…The only diagnosis I agree with is, that I AM autistic. But that is nothing, that needs fixing, right?

Summing this up: Due to everything, that has happened to me in my life, I am very insecure about pretty much EVERYTHING about me. My weight, my face, my clothes, my behavior, the way I act socially…everything really. This is my first step in opening up, stopping to be ashamed and starting to accept, respect and love the person I am.

I have shaved my head, to free myself from all the stereotypes, all the baggage I was carrying, to say fuck you to all the expectations and masks that I used to wear. I am now bare. Naked. I have nothing to hide behind anymore. I am me. And the day will come, when I love myself.

Thank you for reading.


BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION!

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union